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Got to thinking about something┬áthe other night. You know how kids are always told that “Just because Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce, it doesn’t mean we don’t love you”?

EVERYONE is always telling the kids that it’s not their fault and that the parents will always love them, yadda yadda.

Now, while I get that 99.9% of divorces are never the kids’ fault, I can’t stand it when people push that love lie.

What the hell is love anyway? People love their pets but they still take them to the shelter when life throws them a curve ball. People love their spouses until they don’t. And people love their kids while ripping apart the one earthly thing that has the greatest impact on their lives–their married parents.

Now, don’t get me wrong–I get that there are sadistic abusers out there who are dangerous. I have met some. If you love your kids, you would protect them from an abusive parent. (And don’t get me started on those co-dependent twit women who stay in abusive relationships, subjecting themselves and their children to the violent whims of an abusive asshole. That is for another day.)

But, generally divorces do not come about because Daddy hits Mommy. Most divorces are over finances. Don’t believe me? Look it up.

The other top reason is infidelity.

And don’t give me that crap that you still love your kids as you cheat on their mother or father. You owe those kids a decent and stable life, and if your kids aren’t worth the sacrifice of not getting your rocks off in someone else’s bed, well, then you’re a selfish jackass.

Is this a judgmental post? You betcha. But by God, if you are going to be selfish and destroy your marriage, at least own up to it, and be honest about the fact that you love yourself more than you love your kids.

It is about priorities. What does your life priority list look like?

Where does your emotional comfort fit in there? How about the emotional well- being of your kids? Where does your career, your hobbies, your spouse, your pets, and all that good and decent stuff rank on your list? What is at the very top?

And then there is that other lie–the one that says you can’t love others if you aren’t loving yourself. Says who? Define love. You can have the worst self-esteem in the world and still do right by your children. You can hate yourself and still make sacrifices that benefit your children. Thankfully, not everyone buys into that touchy-feely pro-narcissism crap.

The point of this post is…well, maybe I just needed to vent, but maybe part of it is because so many people in society today (activists, politicians, teachers’ unions, psychologists, etc.) are always whining, “But what about the children?!” as they continue to push ideas and rhetoric and policies that only serve to phuk kids up even more.

If the Hastings Center is reporting this accurately, one in five children and adolescents has a psychological disorder. ONE IN FIVE! That means 20% of kids in this country are mentally/emotionally screwed up for one reason or another. How many are screwed up by their environment, the society they live in and their own families? Wherever we’re headed, it’s not in the right direction!

How many times do we hear about teenagers doing something so wicked and deranged that we couldn’t possibly fathom how or why they would do such a thing? And how many times do we hear these reasons for it:

“It’s because of bullying!”
“It’s because of a lack of economic resources!” (Yup, the less money you have, the more likely you will be a violent kid. WTF is that crap?)
“It’s because of institutional _______!” (insert your bigotry of choice)
“It’s because of a lack of quality education!”
“It’s because there aren’t enough activities for them!”
“It’s because they are bored.”

Have you noticed that it is never because of stupid, shitty, self-absorbed, irresponsible parents?

Or how about maybe that kid was just a bad apple like Jeffery Dahmer? They pop up in nature every once in a while…or maybe more often than we’d like to think.

Lord knows there are enough psycho dogs out there. Check out this letter to a sister’s dogs.

And psycho dogs is my next post. I think. (I am rather fickle.)